Blogwarts

I would never have guessed it! Half prince, half princess all along. She always did look like a man.

Three students from Hogwarts have been suspended in an alleged case of so-called ‘Happy Slapping’, the first ever at the school.

The trio, who cannot be named for legal reasons, went on a frenzy aboard the Hogwarts Express by spontaneously smacking a renowned professor and an elf about the face and left buttock. Both victims were in a state of shock but expected to make a full recovery.

As is usual in Happy Slapping, the students filmed the incident on their magical Nokias which were seized as evidence.

The Ministry of Magic also acted quickly by slapping (snarf!) an Anti-Social Behaviour Order on the mobile terrorists. These ASBOs are a new technique borrowed from Muggle law enforcement, the added bonus being that they can be applied to elderly people, leading to much hilarity when programmes called ‘OAPs on ASBOs’ appear on the Sky One section of the Muggle picture-box.